Have you noticed that smoke detector batteries always go bad in the middle of the night? I swear, the manufacturers have a daylight sensor built in with an 8-hour delay so that they can keep you tossing and turning and debating the merits of dragging out a ladder and climbing it half awake. Fortunately, I’m hearing impaired, so I slept just fine. My punishment for that was that I was the designated ladder climber the next morning. As I’m climbing, Gene and I have a riveting discussion about when the last time was that we changed the battery on this particular detector. Seriously? I have more important things to remember like where I put my car keys. Are the dishes in the dishwasher clean or dirty? Have I checked the “best used by” dates on my condiments lately?
Naturally, after I climb the ladder with Gene’s warning, “Don’t fall”, we determine that we have a faulty smoke detector and not a dead battery. It’s a lot of fun having the smoke detector screech right next to your ear while you are fighting the battery compartment, not once, but twice. Gene tells me that I need to pull the wiring from the detector to stop the noise. He hands me a pair of metal pliers and says to “just grip it at the base of the wires and it should pull right out.” I look at the metal pliers and at the wires and ask him, “Is it really a good idea to grab wires with pliers while standing on a ladder?” He says not to worry because it is low voltage. I look down at him and say, “So it’s going to hurt less???” I took one for the team by climbing the ladder in the first place. He’s laughing but I’m serious. If I get shocked and fall on him, who’s going to call 911?
A trip to the hardware store, an overnight order from “The one who shall not be named” and a quick trip to the breaker box, and we have three new smoke/carbon monoxide detectors with ten-year batteries. I’m paying someone next time.