It is the subtle statements in the instructions that always seem to create a problem. I remember assembling a stationary bike and getting to a simple instruction to insert bolt B into the crossbar and frame. Sounds simple enough, but in fact, a person would have to have eight arms, hang upside down and be a certified Twister Champion to complete the task. That is sort of how it felt when we went to gather pond water for the coolers to pick up our fish. Seriously, how hard could it be? They really should underline that little statement about bringing your own pond water on the instructions for picking up your fish.

Plan A: We gathered buckets, coolers and rubber boots and headed down to the pond. The water is quite low right now due to a mild winter and dry spring. You would think that that would make it easier to get the water out of the pond. Oh no. It turns out that when you try to walk on the former bed of the pond, it is actually a bog. We immediately sink up to our knees as our boots become encased in mud. Now the fun begins. Who helps who out first?

Plan B: Somebody is going to get wet. I volunteer. This won’t be the first pond I have ever swam in. Two steps into the pond, the water is over my boots. Good enough. Nobody said that we had to have water from the middle of the pond. Gene holds one of my arms as I lean in to get “better” water. Gene carries the water to the cooler. Repeat. Somebody should have had a better plan to get OUT of the pond.

*This post was written a while ago but not published.  It is part of a series of posts dedicated to my friend Charlotta who is battling cancer for a second time and needs some laughs.