I think of all the years my husband has rolled out of bed when he was called into the hospital during the night and taken care not to wake me. In the early years, every time the phone would ring, I would wake up and have trouble going back to sleep. Then, as that became the norm in our house, I would just roll over and ignore the fact that he was dressing and leaving at 1:00, 2:00 or even 4:00 in the morning. Years later, I never even heard him get up.

Now, I’m the nocturnal one. Steroids used to prevent complications from chemo keep me up at night. I find myself trying to perfect the “roll out of bed” without disturbing the covers. Some mornings, I even make a pretend me with the pillows to try to fool him. The problem is Dolly dog. She has taken up residence next to my side of the bed to ensure I can’t get up without stepping over her. And she has this new treat (Thanks to Brad!) that is a deer antler and it can be located just about anywhere. I squint, I scout, and I scan, but I manage to step on the pointy end frequently.

sleeping dogs

Note the deer antler? This is not a reindeer!

Finding quiet activities to occupy my mind at 2:00-4:00 a.m. has proven futile. Mostly I write blog entries. The clicking of the keyboard must drive Gene nuts, not to mention the light in the office. I tried the headlight/flashlight version, but it gave me a headache. So now I just try to shut the door to the bedroom while I’m roaming. But Dolly refuses to be shut in. Instead, she camps out near the office until the typing annoys her, then with a sigh, she moves to the hall. She sighs a lot now.

Reading seems to be out of the question for now due to blurred vision — a chemo side effect that will go away in time. I find this extremely annoying since so many people have sent me great books to read and I’m an avid reader. So my only other activity is to bug my friends with early morning emails. I hope you have your phones on silent!